Assume means…

… making an ass out of you and me.

How many times has this happened? I do something or she does something and then misunderstanding happens in all directions. I just get tired of the whole exercise.

However… what is the main reason of misunderstandings? Assuming something happened because of whatever. Never asking for confirmation. Sometimes there is no opportunity to ask and when finally is, communication is in “faulty” mode. Who is to blame? Anybody but the one looking for the answer.

I have been married almost 13 years. I have been with Bonita for a little more than 13 years (yes, I am married to her!). The one thing we have not been able to solve is the communication failure. Manipulation of “self-improvement” concepts, thinking that saying “I love you” will fix anything, avoiding “touchy” subjects; anything is allowed in order to escape blame and guilt. And is not that important, you know? Because we have been together for 13 years and it has worked, but at times is tiresome.

I remember when I got to Tijuana the dynamic at work was really bad. There were two teams of people that should be working together and blasting each other and sabotaging were the “standard” practices. I was really naïve (or maybe way to much Machiavellian, I am not sure!) and then suggested an open communication exercise. You could say whatever you wanted of other people in their faces and they should listen and wait for their turn. After everyone spoke then discussion could happen. There was only one guy missing. Guess what, everyone wanted to talk to that guy!! Isn’t it amazing, the self-preservation instinct? That guy avoided the whole thing and after that nobody had the guts or the opportunity to say nothing to him.

At times, I feel like that with Bonita. It is amusing (at times) how she complains that I have to be right about anything that we discuss (regardless of the importance), but she does not recognizes that she is never wrong about situations that happen between us. Of course this is a biased opinion (I assume…).

Anyway, I am ranting; and venting. I am tired. I am tired because of reasons nothing to do with Bonita; it’s mostly work. And I know that if I do not vent/rant/write I will feel really bad later (*).

See you around.

(*) Not later “tonight-later”, more like “tomorrow/weekend-later”. Tonight we will visit Will and Maria and that alone will be an excellent opportunity to relax and enjoy spending time with good friends (and we will be civil too!!)