Am I back?

Let's see how it plays. I just posted something in a different blog that I am trying to start; for the time being I might post something every week. I do not want to call it a New Year resolution, but it is really close to one.

See you around.

Are you back?

Well... I am not sure.

I have been postponing post after post because of whatever reason I may have at the moment.

However, there are a couple of things that are happening right now.

For starters, my birthday is coming. And as you may remember, two years ago I started writing around this time of the year combined with…

Second reason; my college classmates contacted me. 20 years ago we graduated from engineering school and they want to get together and celebrate (and you may also remember that one of my best friends died of cancer two years ago around April).

So, there you go. I am pondering about travelling to Guadalajara (where I attended college and lived for another 4 years) and meeting with my classmates (since they are all over the world it will be difficult to meet with them as it is right now).

I am thinking also about writing again; but I am not sure. You may notice later if I did, or not…

In the meantime, see you around.

Fly, flew, flow and flu

As I was preparing to go to work this morning I got a phone call from a colleague mentioning that he was feeling pretty sick and he was taking the day off.

That did not worry me; until confirmation is provided I do not believe the flu will get me (crossing my fingers and knocking on wood; ouch!!); even if last Thursday I was in a car for 4 hours (travelling) with this colleague.

Then, a person whom we had lunch with last Thursday called me too; he is sick, he is at home, he is not going to work, he has the same symptoms!!!!!!!!

After starting to worry slightly (yeah right!) I decided to wait. I am not feeling sick (physically I mean, but you know that!); they both called back, in one case they already diagnosed a bacterial infection (strep throat?) and in the other is stress related (low body defenses making a cold seems like the flu). Phewwww...

Another flyaway scape from the sickness.

See you around.

Fall is here

After hitting temperatures over 100 ºF in September we are here in October with temperatures hovering in the high 60s, which means that people is starting to get sick; and once they get sick they start to panic with the "swine flu"...

Since I have not known of anybody getting sick with this flu I feel like people is just overreacting; I hope I am not mistaken; let's see.

Damn, it is difficult to write when time passes and just start forgetting what I was planning to write; anyhoo, I will try to keep practicing.

Until next time.

Shame on you! Well... I mean... Me!!

This summer has been unusual for us as a family. For the first time in several years we had been busy (almost) every weekend. From my birthday party (in May 30th) until July 25th we had had something social to do every weekend. Work summer picnics, kids parties, relatives birthdays, etc.

The end result of it is that I am really tired; I usually rested on Saturday or Sunday, but since we started attending all these things I hadn't had the time to rest. I feel tired now; one of the good side effects of this is that I am sleeping through the night; which I could not do in April/May, the other side of the issue is that I feel tired most of the day.

So, there you go; this is the only reason I have for not posting anything in (3?) weeks.

See you around.

Soylent Green...

In Spanish; this movie was named "Cuando el destino nos alcance" ("When destiny catch up with us" or something like that).

I have been meaning to write again; it had been 6 month of pause in the blogs; 2 months ago I started to think about time (time and time again) and came to the conclusion (for the nth time) that there is no time for everything. You can only do so many things at the same time.

And my time had been lately dedicated to my selfish interests: family, work and me. The first one is great! I haven't heard any complains; the second is mandatory (because I want it that way); I have enjoyed work a lot in this year and the third is a consequence of the first two. It has included spending time with new and old friends (and ignoring others, sorry for that!), reflecting in my life and (since I got to be 40 this past May) enjoying more what life has offered. From redescovering cigars (I know!!), to reading new things and trying (without noticing, which has been great!) to enjoy more everything I do and what happens to me.

So... a little recap of 2009:
1) We started paying of all of our debt (with the great help of my wife we are now past half way the point of paying off our mortgate!)
2) My wife was concerned about my health (her family has heart failure history) and took me to the cardiologist who said that, besides being overweight and with a little high blood pressure (because of the weight!) I was in perfect condition
3) I started walking again (taking care of my body) and I have lost 18 pounds since January (yes, I am bragging a little bit)
4) We got mixed results at work; decrease in sales but increase in profitability, which means everybody still have a job
5) I celebrated my 40th birthday (this should be a post on its own, but I do not know when it will happen) and all my brothers and sisters (together with my parents) came to Tijuana to celebrate with me; it was great to see them all!
6) I had been a better father with my daughters and become more relaxed and easygoing around them (which had been difficult before, since I was playing the "strict father" role);

and last but not least
7) I have been enjoying a great time with my wife. We have been doing more things together and on our own that had allowed for a better and improved relationship (also requires its own post).

So, on one hand I started this blog because I had many things to say, and stopped because I was saying too little. I might try again; at least once a week I will post (promise to myself). I hope you will find it interesting and if not do not worry you do not have to read it!

See you around.

So, how was your year?

Of course; if you follow the Chinese calendar or Muslim or Aztec or whatever else the question is moot. But I am disgressing.


You can blame it on the three glasses of St0ne 11th Anniversary Ale I had been drinking (in preparation of the arrival or 2009 in Tijuana; yes, I know already arrived in a lot of places already); my daughter Vicky got me a 2 liter growler full of 11th Anniversary Ale; and I got some more Russian Imperial Stout when picking it up; I think Bonita was not thrilled about it... In any case; the purpose of this post is to try to reflect on 2008 and to start getting ready for 2009.


So, how was 2008? It depends; overall it was good. And it is ending good; but in the middle (October) there was all the financial crisis, Vicky leaving the house, Bonita is about to lose her job (this might be a good thing...) and some other minor negative things. On the positive side; I got a promotion at work (February), Vicky graduated from college (Psychology), Mediana and Pinka did great at school (The Lion King and the basketball tournament) and the recovery after October had been great. Found old friends (it took one of them dying of cancer for this to happen, so... bittersweet) and we made GREAT new friends (even though there was an accident last time they were visiting).


So, it was business as usual. Hope 2009 will be kind of the same.

See you around.

P.S. And for those wondering; yes, the killings in TJ decreased because of all the guys taking time off because of Christmas, so, no explosion here...

Past news

OK, I forgot to mention that Pinka's team (as Pinka wisely said) won the second place on the basketball tournament.

It was a hard fought game with the other team taking a bigger lead than Pinka's team could recover from... 8-1; final score 8-5. Everybody was happy; except for one of the moms that cried; really emotional moment there.

(this was to make the score 8-5)

Anyway; I just wanted to share that with you.

See you around.

Wha....

I was about to keep ranting/writing on the theme-du-jour: "Tijuana is under water[, and then I got lazy. I drove last Monday under the rain from Tijuana to San Marcos, CA (close to 120 miles round trip) and I saw 6 accidents. Today it took me 45 minutes to get to work when usually is 20, I saw three convoys of ambulances, patrols and in one case a fire truck (which means more accidents). The Via Rapida was flooded, a big three-row parking lot full of water. I took some video, some pictures and then I was too tired to upload them. I will, just not today.

Tomorrow I am going to San Marcos again, it might keep raining. Hope not. In the other hand, I might stop by the St0ne brewery...

See you around.

And there were two!

So; we finally knew what the tournament organizers decided to do. Play the three teams involved in the semifinal problem (Pinka's, Tortoises, Red Stars) and have the best two teams play in the Final and for the Third place. Pinka's won last Saturday over Tortoises 6-0. Tortoises were playing Red Stars today's morning and a couple of hours later Pinka's and Red Stars would play to complete the three games required to determine who was playing who.

Tortoises won their game over Red Stars 12-4. That meant that for Pinka's to go to the Final they had to win their game and losing for less than 7 points would get them to the Third place game, but the plan was to win straight.

Game started, and before two minutes passed Red Stars scored 2 points; then I noticed some people cheering very fervently every good play from Red Stars. The coach and a couple of moms of the Tortoises were there.

That was when I started thinking about how some parents (and coaches) can push the children on the teams so they forget that at the end of the day this is just a game. With rules and regulations and results and consequences. I think the coach felt responsible for accepting last Saturday the game against Pinka's; but when they lost; there was nothing else to do but accept the final score. Trying to compensate by adding support to the other team when there is nothing else you can do, is kind of annoying for the other parents (like me!).

Anyhoo; after several lead changes (2-0, 4-0, 4-3, 5-4, 6-5, 7-6) the final score was 9-6; Pinka's won. So the Final game (originally scheduled for last Sunday, rescheduled for today's afternoon and finally rescheduled for next Saturday) will have Pinka's and another team from other school. Pinka's already played them three times and lost all of them; close scores, so I think it will be an interesting game; refereeing had been much better in the playoffs and with the same discipline they had been showing in the previous two game they have a shot at the Championship. Let's wait for it.

See you around.

It's the season to be jolly???

I've never really completely liked Christmas season. When I was a kid (yes, I know I will start talking about walking 10 miles in the snow without shoes... wait; it never snowed in my hometown!) most of the times I got small gifts from Santa (or my parents when I grew up) which meant that I was being naughty during the year, so I did not really enjoyed them (Note to Santa: I am exaggerating! I was extra good this year!!).

The part I really enjoyed was having my family there. When we stayed in Sinaloa, all my mother's brothers and sister would come back from wherever they were living and stayed for a couple of weeks; all my cousins would be there and even though I was the eldest grandchild of my maternal grandparents I had a great time with all of them around. There were times we went to Guadalajara, Mexico City or Orizaba (Veracruz) with my father's family and I had a great time too.

But nothing better than spending New Year's eve at my parents house, with all my brothers and sisters and eventually with all of our families (we are 4 brothers and 2 sisters; all brothers and one of the sisters are married already). I like the closeness we share at that time; I mean, extended family is great, but you can get a little tired. Specially when both my parent came from families with 6 brothers and 2 sisters; from my father's family we are 30 cousins and from my mother's we are 24 cousins; so imagine the family gatherings...

Anyway, this was not the purpose of today's post. I was about to rant more about how I dislike the "extreme" shopping that takes place in this season; how the first time that I tried to cross the border in Christmas season it took me 3 hours to get it done; after one of the homeless guys that hover around that area stood in front of a car to let me change lanes... or the people fighting for the most stupid thing at the stores; being rude, etc., etc.

But; in any case, if you like it, enjoy it; the cold invites to have a hot drink (chocolate comes to mind) and to share your time with family and friends; not going out for the sake of it.

My parents will be here tomorrow; let's see how it goes (I still feel like a child around them, sometimes).

See you around.

What is next?

The league has spoken; there will be a make-up game between Pinka's team and the "forgotten team". The winner will do... I do not know; if Pinka's team wins, they will go to the Final game (as originally resulted last Saturday); but if the other team wins, I have no idea what will happen.

Let's wait for the end result.

In other order of things, my mother in law is now back in the saddle. She decided what happened could happen to anybody, then it was not personal. No need of victime-role playing or agonizing over "what if" scenarios. She is back to her previous self and that is good for all involved.

Bonita is a little worried about it anyway; she invited Vicky back home for the time being. But Vicky is at the moment being very practical about this. She really wants to try to be on her own; since eventually she will completely be. So, there you go.

At work we closed the month almost on target; everybody is happy (for the time being) and I expect they will start pushing for the grand finale of the fiscal year (coming soon! in February). Busy times ahead.

Bonita had an epiphany about her current job. She discovered money can not buy tranquility and quality time with the family; so she, who was worried about losing her job a couple of weeks ago, is now in the "let's take the money and run" mindset (Mexican labor law is particularly loaded to protect the employee in case a company fires you). So she is more relaxed on that sense. In overall, still stressed, but changed the point of focus to Vicky/family instead of work. I think this is an improvement.

My parent will be here on Saturday night (flying from Sinaloa); they have not been here since last year (I think?). It will be good to see them again (we met them at Guadalajara in the summer), and Mediana and Pinka will be temporarely more spoiled than usual, but that is the grandparents job, isn't it?

See you around.

What are people thinking?

During all this time, the past months in Tijuana; I have been reluctant to discuss the violence and all the bad things happening here. Not only because I believe that people tends to magnify the stories and they love to take a protagonic role in the story ("I saw with my own eyes!") creating in the process a "negative spiral" of panic and fear. I believe that if you try to see things in a better light they become better.

But then, last Friday night, we had our close encounter with the bad side of Tijuana. My mother in law was mugged when arriving to her apartment.

Whoever did this were small thieves; not really trying to be violent or to injure her. It was supposed to be a "clean" robbery; push her out of the way, grab her handbag and run. Then her arm got tangled with the handbag and they dragged her for a couple of meters on the ground; she ended with her knee and her mouth scrapped against the floor and a semi-deep cut in her hand. Lost the bag (with a small amount of money on it), her car keys (she was driving Bonita's car but they did not make a move for it), her apartment keys, driver license, voting card, eyeglasses; minor things. Everything could be replaced easily, we replaced the locks in her apartment and cancelled bank cards that same night and yesterday my brothers in law took care of the IDs, eyeglasses and car keys. But not the tranquility.

Anyway, life has to go on; she refuses to stay at our place (or any other place) and she really thinks she got scared, but that was it; just a scare. Of course Inge (the youngest son) was at the apartment with Mediana and panicked when her mom arrived at the apartment being carried by a couple of neighbors; Bonita had to talk to Mediana to give her instructions about how to calm down her grandma (and her uncle!). Five minutes later (we were at a new bookstore that just opened when they called us with the news) everybody was there; Polaco, Flor, Vicky and us were pouring over there and trying to keep things cool to avoid more people running around as headless chickens. Pinka said hello (she was with us) and went to watch TV; I just sat there and made some comic suggestions and serious proposals about the locks and who should sleep there and everything. It ended all OK; yesterday we got all together at my house and played cards and talked. Everybody is calmed and my mother in law is looking better.

By the way, Pinka's basketball team made the playoffs and won their semifinal game; so now they are in the finals; except... there was a development after the game. They were originally in 5th place; only 1st through 4th were supposed to be in the playoffs. The 1st place team noticed but accepted to play and they got their butts kicked by Pinka's team (parity, lovely thing; anybody can beat anybody!). The parents protested after that and call the other team to complain; so the final game that was supposed to be this morning got cancelled until further notice (I think they will try to clean up the mess they created). So I will keep you posted.

Finally, I am a little hangover this morning; I drank some beers when my in-laws were here yesterday, and after they left we had Maria and Will visiting; as usual with them, we had a great time, conversation, drinks and the only change was the order of us falling asleep (usually Bonita falls asleep, then me for 5 minutes, then Will, and Maria neves does). This time I could not keep up, so they left early (1:30 am instead of the standard of 2:00 am). Great time.

Today we will meet with the family again (Polaco's birthday is on Tuesday, but since Arqui is here today, is a good idea to celebrate now). Before that we want to go and tour the bookstore we could not on Friday; let's see how it goes.

See you around.

So, what's up doc?

Finally; holiday in US, means no phone calls, emails or contact from customer and/or corporate people. Just us working today in TJ (where today is "Turkey Day" and we are grateful for that!).


Do you care about today? Most of people I know (in California) do not care much for the meaning of Thanksgiving Day; just take advantage of the long weekend to take vacation or start Christmas shopping.

In Tijuana is kind of similar; "Dia del Pavo" (Turkey Day) is the beginning of the shopping season; many people will be crossing the border at midnight or Friday ealy morning (3:00 am?) to get in line in order to buy something they might not need but has a good price. Or maybe not, considering the stressful economy we are living. In my case I have never done any Black Friday shopping; it tires me just to be in line to pay something that costed 5 instead of 10. I believe my time is more valuable and shopping is not really my thing.

Anyhoo; getting back to the Thanks part of Thanksgiving; and taking a page of a tradition we do not really share I would like to thank life for so many good things that have happened to me; specially lately where I have rediscovered the love of my wife and family and the tranquility of living without hiding things from Bonita. I love her.

As a departing comment I would like to share the following text from Armando Fuentes Aguirre (in a free translation by me):

"I am preparing to sue "Fortune" magazine; because they made a mistake that makes no sense to me. It happened that they published the list of the richest people in the world and I am not listed. The Sultan of Brunei, Bill Gates, Sam Walton's family and Takichiro Mori's family are there. Queen Elizabeth of England, Stavros Niarkos and Mexicans Carlos Slim and Emilio Azcárraga. However, I am not listed.

And I am a rich man; extremely rich. If you think I am not, allow me to explain: I have life, which I receive I do not know why and health, which I keep I do not know how. I have a family: my adorable wife who gave me her life and that made my life the best; wonderful sons and daughters from whom I have received only the best; grandchildren on who I express my paternity again in a happily manner. I have brothers and sisters that are like friends and friends that are like brothers and sisters. I have people who love me sincerily in spite of my defects and whom I love sincerely even with my defects. I got four readers that I thank every day because they read well what I write badly. I have a home and inside many books (my wife would say I have many books and around them a home). I have a small piece of the world in the form of a small orchard that every year gives me apples that would had made shorter the stay of Adan and Eve in Paradise. I have a dog that waits for me to arrive before going to sleep and that greets me as I was the master of heaven and earth.

I have eyes that see and ears that hear; legs that walk and hands that caress; a brain that thinks things that somebody else thought but that I never before did. I own the standard heritage of men: Happy moments to enjoy and sad moments to be a brother of the suffering people. And I have my faith in a good God that has infinite love for me. Could it be higher riches than mine?

Why then Forture magazine did not list me as one of the richest people in Earth?"

See you around.

And then...

... I realize that I still have many things to tell.

The story has not ended, we left when I had talked to some of my classmates (from the distant past when I was in college) and they told me the debt situation was a "normal" one (in the most ethimological sense); and that I have to find some other options to solve it and then live with it. Those other options have been reduced to one; stop paying the credit cards. The reason behind it is that in Mexico the law will protect the customer (not the bank); so the only consequence of doing that is that you will not be subject of credit for 5 to 10 years. Hopefully I will not need that.

Anyway; after I returned home (yes! I returned in October 23rd) Vicky moved out; or I should say, we threw her out? It was a combination of both; in any case things have calmed and everybody is doing better now; yes, we miss her a lot and she misses us a lot, but she is living 5 minutes walking from this house, so it is just OK.

Mediana still is in her ballet/jazz/flamenco dancing lessons and Pinka is in her basketball tournament (they are not doing so well, but they are improving each game) and Bonita is taking some lessons at a local college (like a certificate degree, I do not know how to call it).

I have been very busy (they are making me work!?!?!?) but it has been really satisfactory; I've never done it before! (you may think this is a joke... but maybe it isn't!). I have been staying at work for a couple of hours more than my usual time.

In other words, life is going on; the world has not stopped (as anybody can attest) and history is in the making (Obama is president of the USA!). Many things to talk about; but the one I want to share is the following:

I enjoy reading Gregg Easterbrook's column in ESPN every Tuesday; he writes about American football. But he also writes about common sense (in a very funny way). This week's column contains a couple of comments about two things: hidden calories restaurants give you without telling you; and how the financial bailout does not have any control over the companies about how they use the money American goverment is giving them. Both really amusing and with a lot of sense. By the way, do not get distracted by the picture that appears in the second link ;^).

It's getting late and I need my quality time with the family; see you around.

Hopefully is not a train...

... but a light at the end of the tunnel.

Last Wednesday I went to Mission Beach to meet a friend of mine from college; we hadn't met for almost 14 years, we had a great conversation and had a good time together. Kind of the things that you need when you are down.

In the conversation he suggested (without mentioning) that he was having financial problems. He moved from Guadalajara to Dallas,TX because of his job and during the movement he never considered the amount of taxes he was going to have to pay, living in the US. He is making ends meet, fortunately; but got me thinking about how many people and what kind of people is having financial trouble.

Today I had lunch with another of my class mates; this time I mentioned that I was in a financial bind and he recognized he and many others (he mentioned at least 5 more people I know from my time in Guadalajara) are in the same situation (for many different reasons). It is not a relief; except for the advice he gave regarding a negotiation I was about to make with one of the credit cards. He said you can negotiate with the bank a credit card debt in what is call a "personal payment plan"; but once you do that you can not make advance payments (unless you want to cancel whatever is remaining at that moment). So, his recommendation is to have at least two. That way if you can get enough money to cancel one part; all the interest on that part is gone. I think is a wonderful idea; I already started on that.

And that got me thinking about how, for whatever reason, if you do not say you are in trouble, nobody can help you. Just sharing that information can lead you to get a solution or a better deal in your situation.

That was great.

Another thing that was great is that I shared with both of them (because they are sales reps for different companies, non competing) some of the contacts I have made in my time in Tijuana, and now my company got access to some of their customers too; which means more business for the factory where I work and more growth or stability (no need to worry about my job anymore! ;^)). So, seems like this sharing/telling/mentioning things really works.

See you around.

I am running on fumes...

I am starting to get restless; I still do not know exactly how to fix/improve/make-more-bearable this situation we are living (Bonita and me) but I am getting tired of it.

I have been 10 days out of my house. I already moved most of my clothes and things I kept on my night table; some remain and I do not want to take them out. I am feeling like if I take out everything then it is going to be more difficult to move back in. Not only because of me, but because of the zone of comfort that will create. For the same reason I have not unpacked almost anything that I took. I am using the same cartons Lexie (the nanny) put my stuff in, instead of using the closet and drawers in Arqui's apartment.

Arqui mentioned that if I wanted I could get cable; as long as it get cancelled when I move out. Being as paranoid as I am, I think this is some kind of "unrelayed" message based on communication he gets from Bonita. I will ask her.

Same thing with the fact that my closet at home is now empty; what would Bonita do with that? Fill it up with her clothes? It does not make sense to me if the plan or the intention is that I will return there. Why would she go for the reorganizing of things twice (now to distribute her clothes, and then when I return and she would have to return to her original space)?

I do not know; I am feeling pretty paranoid lately.

Also, today Bonita called a priest that helped us 5 years ago (in a situation pretty similar to this, in some ways) to get over it and resume our life in a better (supposedly) way. We have an appointment with him next Wednesday at 8 pm. Let's see what happens.

See you around.

Where in the world is J.A.?

In case you were wondering (and I have to accept that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t) I had been here, with too many things inside of my head to be able to focus and write about one.

Among them:

1) Which direction I want the blog to take (of course, the least important first!). I have been carrying two blogs; the idea was to translate and share the same information between both blogs, but lately I have been partial to a different idea, which is to report my daily life in Spanish and then share more personal issues in English. The reason being that my family reads the blog in Spanish, but not the one in English; so I would be “safe” to rant and complain and say things that I may not want to share with them (I am talking about my parents and siblings, not my wife). This was the original reason to stop blogging.

2) I have been under a lot of pressure at work, and sharing things about work is not something I want to do. Most of times reviewing a work day is the least enjoyable part of blogging. And I do not want to be obsessing about work. But, there are some things that I can tell you about it, and will write some sooner rather than later.

3) Pure laziness. I have no other explanation.

4) And finally (and the reason I am trying to avoid mentioning), last Monday my wife finally discovered that I had put us under a lot of debt, and we were living “day to day”. We have good salaries and that had allowed us to not only survive, but also to end up spending more than we should and finally to me borrowing a lot of money in credits. As a result of that I have move out, I am living in Arqui’s apartment (he is my brother in law), hopefully for a short time (I am not sure what I should consider short), until we solve the main issue in this problem, which is the way I avoid sharing bad news and bad situations with my wife and living our marriage as partners instead of single beings. I will tell you more about it, just not now.

Shocked? Surprised? We all are.

See you around.

Strange confessions...

I love "The Office". I love "History of the World, Part 1". I love Tin-Tan's movies (*). I love fish tacos. I love greasy food. I love beer. I love "stupid" movies (like Adam Sandler's "Anger Management"). I love Sinaloa's music (specially "Banda del Recodo", without vocals please!). I love the sense of "surprise" when you are travelling and things do not work out exactly as you planned. I love being silly. I love laughing until my ribcage hurts. I love that I sneeze really loudly. I love Mexican "ficheras" movies (**). I love songs sang by "Piporro"(***). I love Mexican music in general (but specially traditional, like huapango, tambora, norteño, etc.)

Not so strangely, I love my daughters, I love my wife.

See you around.

(*) Mexican comedian, that popularized the "Pachuco" style.
(**) In the 70's and 80's most of Mexican movies showed the Mexican Night clubs and brothels; the women that worked there dancing with the clientele got a token ("ficha" in Spanish) for each song danced or drink. "Fichera" was the name that designated those women.
(***) Eulalio Gonzalez "Piporro", sang norteño songs (he was from Monterrey or Chihuahua or somewhere around) with special commentary during the song. Like saying that Porfirio Cadena (a.k.a. "The glass-eyed") was a good shot because he had better vision with the glass eye ("he saw with zoom"). Really funny stuff.

Assume means…

… making an ass out of you and me.

How many times has this happened? I do something or she does something and then misunderstanding happens in all directions. I just get tired of the whole exercise.

However… what is the main reason of misunderstandings? Assuming something happened because of whatever. Never asking for confirmation. Sometimes there is no opportunity to ask and when finally is, communication is in “faulty” mode. Who is to blame? Anybody but the one looking for the answer.

I have been married almost 13 years. I have been with Bonita for a little more than 13 years (yes, I am married to her!). The one thing we have not been able to solve is the communication failure. Manipulation of “self-improvement” concepts, thinking that saying “I love you” will fix anything, avoiding “touchy” subjects; anything is allowed in order to escape blame and guilt. And is not that important, you know? Because we have been together for 13 years and it has worked, but at times is tiresome.

I remember when I got to Tijuana the dynamic at work was really bad. There were two teams of people that should be working together and blasting each other and sabotaging were the “standard” practices. I was really naïve (or maybe way to much Machiavellian, I am not sure!) and then suggested an open communication exercise. You could say whatever you wanted of other people in their faces and they should listen and wait for their turn. After everyone spoke then discussion could happen. There was only one guy missing. Guess what, everyone wanted to talk to that guy!! Isn’t it amazing, the self-preservation instinct? That guy avoided the whole thing and after that nobody had the guts or the opportunity to say nothing to him.

At times, I feel like that with Bonita. It is amusing (at times) how she complains that I have to be right about anything that we discuss (regardless of the importance), but she does not recognizes that she is never wrong about situations that happen between us. Of course this is a biased opinion (I assume…).

Anyway, I am ranting; and venting. I am tired. I am tired because of reasons nothing to do with Bonita; it’s mostly work. And I know that if I do not vent/rant/write I will feel really bad later (*).

See you around.

(*) Not later “tonight-later”, more like “tomorrow/weekend-later”. Tonight we will visit Will and Maria and that alone will be an excellent opportunity to relax and enjoy spending time with good friends (and we will be civil too!!)