I am running on fumes...

I am starting to get restless; I still do not know exactly how to fix/improve/make-more-bearable this situation we are living (Bonita and me) but I am getting tired of it.

I have been 10 days out of my house. I already moved most of my clothes and things I kept on my night table; some remain and I do not want to take them out. I am feeling like if I take out everything then it is going to be more difficult to move back in. Not only because of me, but because of the zone of comfort that will create. For the same reason I have not unpacked almost anything that I took. I am using the same cartons Lexie (the nanny) put my stuff in, instead of using the closet and drawers in Arqui's apartment.

Arqui mentioned that if I wanted I could get cable; as long as it get cancelled when I move out. Being as paranoid as I am, I think this is some kind of "unrelayed" message based on communication he gets from Bonita. I will ask her.

Same thing with the fact that my closet at home is now empty; what would Bonita do with that? Fill it up with her clothes? It does not make sense to me if the plan or the intention is that I will return there. Why would she go for the reorganizing of things twice (now to distribute her clothes, and then when I return and she would have to return to her original space)?

I do not know; I am feeling pretty paranoid lately.

Also, today Bonita called a priest that helped us 5 years ago (in a situation pretty similar to this, in some ways) to get over it and resume our life in a better (supposedly) way. We have an appointment with him next Wednesday at 8 pm. Let's see what happens.

See you around.

Where in the world is J.A.?

In case you were wondering (and I have to accept that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t) I had been here, with too many things inside of my head to be able to focus and write about one.

Among them:

1) Which direction I want the blog to take (of course, the least important first!). I have been carrying two blogs; the idea was to translate and share the same information between both blogs, but lately I have been partial to a different idea, which is to report my daily life in Spanish and then share more personal issues in English. The reason being that my family reads the blog in Spanish, but not the one in English; so I would be “safe” to rant and complain and say things that I may not want to share with them (I am talking about my parents and siblings, not my wife). This was the original reason to stop blogging.

2) I have been under a lot of pressure at work, and sharing things about work is not something I want to do. Most of times reviewing a work day is the least enjoyable part of blogging. And I do not want to be obsessing about work. But, there are some things that I can tell you about it, and will write some sooner rather than later.

3) Pure laziness. I have no other explanation.

4) And finally (and the reason I am trying to avoid mentioning), last Monday my wife finally discovered that I had put us under a lot of debt, and we were living “day to day”. We have good salaries and that had allowed us to not only survive, but also to end up spending more than we should and finally to me borrowing a lot of money in credits. As a result of that I have move out, I am living in Arqui’s apartment (he is my brother in law), hopefully for a short time (I am not sure what I should consider short), until we solve the main issue in this problem, which is the way I avoid sharing bad news and bad situations with my wife and living our marriage as partners instead of single beings. I will tell you more about it, just not now.

Shocked? Surprised? We all are.

See you around.