What is next?

The league has spoken; there will be a make-up game between Pinka's team and the "forgotten team". The winner will do... I do not know; if Pinka's team wins, they will go to the Final game (as originally resulted last Saturday); but if the other team wins, I have no idea what will happen.

Let's wait for the end result.

In other order of things, my mother in law is now back in the saddle. She decided what happened could happen to anybody, then it was not personal. No need of victime-role playing or agonizing over "what if" scenarios. She is back to her previous self and that is good for all involved.

Bonita is a little worried about it anyway; she invited Vicky back home for the time being. But Vicky is at the moment being very practical about this. She really wants to try to be on her own; since eventually she will completely be. So, there you go.

At work we closed the month almost on target; everybody is happy (for the time being) and I expect they will start pushing for the grand finale of the fiscal year (coming soon! in February). Busy times ahead.

Bonita had an epiphany about her current job. She discovered money can not buy tranquility and quality time with the family; so she, who was worried about losing her job a couple of weeks ago, is now in the "let's take the money and run" mindset (Mexican labor law is particularly loaded to protect the employee in case a company fires you). So she is more relaxed on that sense. In overall, still stressed, but changed the point of focus to Vicky/family instead of work. I think this is an improvement.

My parent will be here on Saturday night (flying from Sinaloa); they have not been here since last year (I think?). It will be good to see them again (we met them at Guadalajara in the summer), and Mediana and Pinka will be temporarely more spoiled than usual, but that is the grandparents job, isn't it?

See you around.

What are people thinking?

During all this time, the past months in Tijuana; I have been reluctant to discuss the violence and all the bad things happening here. Not only because I believe that people tends to magnify the stories and they love to take a protagonic role in the story ("I saw with my own eyes!") creating in the process a "negative spiral" of panic and fear. I believe that if you try to see things in a better light they become better.

But then, last Friday night, we had our close encounter with the bad side of Tijuana. My mother in law was mugged when arriving to her apartment.

Whoever did this were small thieves; not really trying to be violent or to injure her. It was supposed to be a "clean" robbery; push her out of the way, grab her handbag and run. Then her arm got tangled with the handbag and they dragged her for a couple of meters on the ground; she ended with her knee and her mouth scrapped against the floor and a semi-deep cut in her hand. Lost the bag (with a small amount of money on it), her car keys (she was driving Bonita's car but they did not make a move for it), her apartment keys, driver license, voting card, eyeglasses; minor things. Everything could be replaced easily, we replaced the locks in her apartment and cancelled bank cards that same night and yesterday my brothers in law took care of the IDs, eyeglasses and car keys. But not the tranquility.

Anyway, life has to go on; she refuses to stay at our place (or any other place) and she really thinks she got scared, but that was it; just a scare. Of course Inge (the youngest son) was at the apartment with Mediana and panicked when her mom arrived at the apartment being carried by a couple of neighbors; Bonita had to talk to Mediana to give her instructions about how to calm down her grandma (and her uncle!). Five minutes later (we were at a new bookstore that just opened when they called us with the news) everybody was there; Polaco, Flor, Vicky and us were pouring over there and trying to keep things cool to avoid more people running around as headless chickens. Pinka said hello (she was with us) and went to watch TV; I just sat there and made some comic suggestions and serious proposals about the locks and who should sleep there and everything. It ended all OK; yesterday we got all together at my house and played cards and talked. Everybody is calmed and my mother in law is looking better.

By the way, Pinka's basketball team made the playoffs and won their semifinal game; so now they are in the finals; except... there was a development after the game. They were originally in 5th place; only 1st through 4th were supposed to be in the playoffs. The 1st place team noticed but accepted to play and they got their butts kicked by Pinka's team (parity, lovely thing; anybody can beat anybody!). The parents protested after that and call the other team to complain; so the final game that was supposed to be this morning got cancelled until further notice (I think they will try to clean up the mess they created). So I will keep you posted.

Finally, I am a little hangover this morning; I drank some beers when my in-laws were here yesterday, and after they left we had Maria and Will visiting; as usual with them, we had a great time, conversation, drinks and the only change was the order of us falling asleep (usually Bonita falls asleep, then me for 5 minutes, then Will, and Maria neves does). This time I could not keep up, so they left early (1:30 am instead of the standard of 2:00 am). Great time.

Today we will meet with the family again (Polaco's birthday is on Tuesday, but since Arqui is here today, is a good idea to celebrate now). Before that we want to go and tour the bookstore we could not on Friday; let's see how it goes.

See you around.

So, what's up doc?

Finally; holiday in US, means no phone calls, emails or contact from customer and/or corporate people. Just us working today in TJ (where today is "Turkey Day" and we are grateful for that!).


Do you care about today? Most of people I know (in California) do not care much for the meaning of Thanksgiving Day; just take advantage of the long weekend to take vacation or start Christmas shopping.

In Tijuana is kind of similar; "Dia del Pavo" (Turkey Day) is the beginning of the shopping season; many people will be crossing the border at midnight or Friday ealy morning (3:00 am?) to get in line in order to buy something they might not need but has a good price. Or maybe not, considering the stressful economy we are living. In my case I have never done any Black Friday shopping; it tires me just to be in line to pay something that costed 5 instead of 10. I believe my time is more valuable and shopping is not really my thing.

Anyhoo; getting back to the Thanks part of Thanksgiving; and taking a page of a tradition we do not really share I would like to thank life for so many good things that have happened to me; specially lately where I have rediscovered the love of my wife and family and the tranquility of living without hiding things from Bonita. I love her.

As a departing comment I would like to share the following text from Armando Fuentes Aguirre (in a free translation by me):

"I am preparing to sue "Fortune" magazine; because they made a mistake that makes no sense to me. It happened that they published the list of the richest people in the world and I am not listed. The Sultan of Brunei, Bill Gates, Sam Walton's family and Takichiro Mori's family are there. Queen Elizabeth of England, Stavros Niarkos and Mexicans Carlos Slim and Emilio Azcárraga. However, I am not listed.

And I am a rich man; extremely rich. If you think I am not, allow me to explain: I have life, which I receive I do not know why and health, which I keep I do not know how. I have a family: my adorable wife who gave me her life and that made my life the best; wonderful sons and daughters from whom I have received only the best; grandchildren on who I express my paternity again in a happily manner. I have brothers and sisters that are like friends and friends that are like brothers and sisters. I have people who love me sincerily in spite of my defects and whom I love sincerely even with my defects. I got four readers that I thank every day because they read well what I write badly. I have a home and inside many books (my wife would say I have many books and around them a home). I have a small piece of the world in the form of a small orchard that every year gives me apples that would had made shorter the stay of Adan and Eve in Paradise. I have a dog that waits for me to arrive before going to sleep and that greets me as I was the master of heaven and earth.

I have eyes that see and ears that hear; legs that walk and hands that caress; a brain that thinks things that somebody else thought but that I never before did. I own the standard heritage of men: Happy moments to enjoy and sad moments to be a brother of the suffering people. And I have my faith in a good God that has infinite love for me. Could it be higher riches than mine?

Why then Forture magazine did not list me as one of the richest people in Earth?"

See you around.

And then...

... I realize that I still have many things to tell.

The story has not ended, we left when I had talked to some of my classmates (from the distant past when I was in college) and they told me the debt situation was a "normal" one (in the most ethimological sense); and that I have to find some other options to solve it and then live with it. Those other options have been reduced to one; stop paying the credit cards. The reason behind it is that in Mexico the law will protect the customer (not the bank); so the only consequence of doing that is that you will not be subject of credit for 5 to 10 years. Hopefully I will not need that.

Anyway; after I returned home (yes! I returned in October 23rd) Vicky moved out; or I should say, we threw her out? It was a combination of both; in any case things have calmed and everybody is doing better now; yes, we miss her a lot and she misses us a lot, but she is living 5 minutes walking from this house, so it is just OK.

Mediana still is in her ballet/jazz/flamenco dancing lessons and Pinka is in her basketball tournament (they are not doing so well, but they are improving each game) and Bonita is taking some lessons at a local college (like a certificate degree, I do not know how to call it).

I have been very busy (they are making me work!?!?!?) but it has been really satisfactory; I've never done it before! (you may think this is a joke... but maybe it isn't!). I have been staying at work for a couple of hours more than my usual time.

In other words, life is going on; the world has not stopped (as anybody can attest) and history is in the making (Obama is president of the USA!). Many things to talk about; but the one I want to share is the following:

I enjoy reading Gregg Easterbrook's column in ESPN every Tuesday; he writes about American football. But he also writes about common sense (in a very funny way). This week's column contains a couple of comments about two things: hidden calories restaurants give you without telling you; and how the financial bailout does not have any control over the companies about how they use the money American goverment is giving them. Both really amusing and with a lot of sense. By the way, do not get distracted by the picture that appears in the second link ;^).

It's getting late and I need my quality time with the family; see you around.

Hopefully is not a train...

... but a light at the end of the tunnel.

Last Wednesday I went to Mission Beach to meet a friend of mine from college; we hadn't met for almost 14 years, we had a great conversation and had a good time together. Kind of the things that you need when you are down.

In the conversation he suggested (without mentioning) that he was having financial problems. He moved from Guadalajara to Dallas,TX because of his job and during the movement he never considered the amount of taxes he was going to have to pay, living in the US. He is making ends meet, fortunately; but got me thinking about how many people and what kind of people is having financial trouble.

Today I had lunch with another of my class mates; this time I mentioned that I was in a financial bind and he recognized he and many others (he mentioned at least 5 more people I know from my time in Guadalajara) are in the same situation (for many different reasons). It is not a relief; except for the advice he gave regarding a negotiation I was about to make with one of the credit cards. He said you can negotiate with the bank a credit card debt in what is call a "personal payment plan"; but once you do that you can not make advance payments (unless you want to cancel whatever is remaining at that moment). So, his recommendation is to have at least two. That way if you can get enough money to cancel one part; all the interest on that part is gone. I think is a wonderful idea; I already started on that.

And that got me thinking about how, for whatever reason, if you do not say you are in trouble, nobody can help you. Just sharing that information can lead you to get a solution or a better deal in your situation.

That was great.

Another thing that was great is that I shared with both of them (because they are sales reps for different companies, non competing) some of the contacts I have made in my time in Tijuana, and now my company got access to some of their customers too; which means more business for the factory where I work and more growth or stability (no need to worry about my job anymore! ;^)). So, seems like this sharing/telling/mentioning things really works.

See you around.

I am running on fumes...

I am starting to get restless; I still do not know exactly how to fix/improve/make-more-bearable this situation we are living (Bonita and me) but I am getting tired of it.

I have been 10 days out of my house. I already moved most of my clothes and things I kept on my night table; some remain and I do not want to take them out. I am feeling like if I take out everything then it is going to be more difficult to move back in. Not only because of me, but because of the zone of comfort that will create. For the same reason I have not unpacked almost anything that I took. I am using the same cartons Lexie (the nanny) put my stuff in, instead of using the closet and drawers in Arqui's apartment.

Arqui mentioned that if I wanted I could get cable; as long as it get cancelled when I move out. Being as paranoid as I am, I think this is some kind of "unrelayed" message based on communication he gets from Bonita. I will ask her.

Same thing with the fact that my closet at home is now empty; what would Bonita do with that? Fill it up with her clothes? It does not make sense to me if the plan or the intention is that I will return there. Why would she go for the reorganizing of things twice (now to distribute her clothes, and then when I return and she would have to return to her original space)?

I do not know; I am feeling pretty paranoid lately.

Also, today Bonita called a priest that helped us 5 years ago (in a situation pretty similar to this, in some ways) to get over it and resume our life in a better (supposedly) way. We have an appointment with him next Wednesday at 8 pm. Let's see what happens.

See you around.

Where in the world is J.A.?

In case you were wondering (and I have to accept that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t) I had been here, with too many things inside of my head to be able to focus and write about one.

Among them:

1) Which direction I want the blog to take (of course, the least important first!). I have been carrying two blogs; the idea was to translate and share the same information between both blogs, but lately I have been partial to a different idea, which is to report my daily life in Spanish and then share more personal issues in English. The reason being that my family reads the blog in Spanish, but not the one in English; so I would be “safe” to rant and complain and say things that I may not want to share with them (I am talking about my parents and siblings, not my wife). This was the original reason to stop blogging.

2) I have been under a lot of pressure at work, and sharing things about work is not something I want to do. Most of times reviewing a work day is the least enjoyable part of blogging. And I do not want to be obsessing about work. But, there are some things that I can tell you about it, and will write some sooner rather than later.

3) Pure laziness. I have no other explanation.

4) And finally (and the reason I am trying to avoid mentioning), last Monday my wife finally discovered that I had put us under a lot of debt, and we were living “day to day”. We have good salaries and that had allowed us to not only survive, but also to end up spending more than we should and finally to me borrowing a lot of money in credits. As a result of that I have move out, I am living in Arqui’s apartment (he is my brother in law), hopefully for a short time (I am not sure what I should consider short), until we solve the main issue in this problem, which is the way I avoid sharing bad news and bad situations with my wife and living our marriage as partners instead of single beings. I will tell you more about it, just not now.

Shocked? Surprised? We all are.

See you around.