Day Break after Starry Night
2 days ago
Monday, June 9, 2008
Realistic or surrealistic?
Some days I cannot believe Tijuana. There are many things I don’t like about living in US, but some others I admire. Particularly the way information is available when roads are being repaired. This morning I had drive around a couple of road repair areas and took me more than half more minutes than usual to get to work. Of course, they closed the main road and then one of the side roads that would have got you out of there. This is Tijuana (and I love the city).
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Whatever
I just want to say good night to all of you.
I may not post anything until Sunday afternoon or Monday afternoon.
Just reporting my mother is visiting this weekend, to attend my niece Patita's presentation in church (catholic tradition for children three years old).
We've just arrived from San Ysidro, bought a lot of clothes and some trinkets (a tea infuser for my wife).
We have no kitchen, they are rebuilding it after 10 years of use and abuse.
My wife did not like the new faucet I got for the kitchen, so we need to buy another one (I do not know when).
We had dinner at Pamp@s and enjoy it a lot; even my wife who is not eating beef at this time (she is in a "vegetarian" phase).
Because of a hoax email chain (* I think) Vicky has decided not to go out this weekend; she is only visiting friends living 5 minutes from here. We agreed.
I'm tired. I'm tired, I have to thank the spelling check, but even then is difficult to understand and autocorrect "anthpoer" (I still do not know how I type that).
See you later.
(*) In the email, there is a warning to people going out from June 5th to June 7th to avoid some places, since there is a group of "Zetas" (military type group in the payroll of the Gulf Cartel) that vowed to kill people attending some areas of Tijuana. In any case I will wait until tomorrow to say everything is safe.
I may not post anything until Sunday afternoon or Monday afternoon.
Just reporting my mother is visiting this weekend, to attend my niece Patita's presentation in church (catholic tradition for children three years old).
We've just arrived from San Ysidro, bought a lot of clothes and some trinkets (a tea infuser for my wife).
We have no kitchen, they are rebuilding it after 10 years of use and abuse.
My wife did not like the new faucet I got for the kitchen, so we need to buy another one (I do not know when).
We had dinner at Pamp@s and enjoy it a lot; even my wife who is not eating beef at this time (she is in a "vegetarian" phase).
Because of a hoax email chain (* I think) Vicky has decided not to go out this weekend; she is only visiting friends living 5 minutes from here. We agreed.
I'm tired. I'm tired, I have to thank the spelling check, but even then is difficult to understand and autocorrect "anthpoer" (I still do not know how I type that).
See you later.
(*) In the email, there is a warning to people going out from June 5th to June 7th to avoid some places, since there is a group of "Zetas" (military type group in the payroll of the Gulf Cartel) that vowed to kill people attending some areas of Tijuana. In any case I will wait until tomorrow to say everything is safe.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Steady Eddie
I can be opinionated; but rarely passionate about anything. There are very few things that get me riled up or to which I would react (patronizing and people not listening are two of them). At the same time I dread to recommend a book/film/TV show/restaurant/etc. I do not know the reason, but I think it has to do with sharing information about me (my tastes and what gets me ticking).
In that sense I rarely allow me to feel the deep excitement/disgust when something gets me. I am shielded by my own set of thoughts that prevent what I call a “loss of control”. Not that I never do it; but I feel like I am always a little too much calculating risks/rewards. I am a gambler in that sense; try to keep my emotions out of play. Even when I am upset (and acting up), I am always thinking in the background: “what should I do next, to make it more effective? OK, let’s hit the car.” Or something like that.
(S)wine’s comment got to me this morning. Not because I felt offended by it or anything like that. It was more the chain of thoughts that the comment started. I like to be liked. Not only that; I like people to tell other people nice things about me. Like saying I am intelligent, or different or special (but not in the educational way!) or thoughtful, etc. So when I read the comment, I immediately started thinking about explaining myself (and did a little) to try to stop him think less of me.
After a while, I started asking me “why?” The main reason of this blog (or any blog for that matter) is to write your opinions and your comments and your thoughts and if what you say resonates (either harmonically or not) with other people they will let you know. Then, why should I be so concerned about liking (or not) Stephen King? Does it really matters? I think not (but I am not sure… My “emotional needs” are acting up again…)
In any case; I have liked some of the books of Stephen King (The Stand, It and the Dark Tower series specially); then in a sense I like him. Some others (like the short stories in general) I have not liked, I do not know what to make of it.
All the books that I have read and finished I have liked. The ones I did not like I did not finish them (but there are very few). Of course, I always try to find something to like in everything I do; I am not sure this is the sane thing to do (this means I do not want to argue about it, I really think THIS IS the sane thing to do); but it works for me. That sometimes that way of thinking had led me to shovel shit for days, well the showers you take afterwards feel great! So, I am not sorry (even if I want to say it!) to disagree or to have different opinions. I am trying to embrace this difference (it's DIFFICULT!!!), which I think is OK.
See you around.
In that sense I rarely allow me to feel the deep excitement/disgust when something gets me. I am shielded by my own set of thoughts that prevent what I call a “loss of control”. Not that I never do it; but I feel like I am always a little too much calculating risks/rewards. I am a gambler in that sense; try to keep my emotions out of play. Even when I am upset (and acting up), I am always thinking in the background: “what should I do next, to make it more effective? OK, let’s hit the car.” Or something like that.
(S)wine’s comment got to me this morning. Not because I felt offended by it or anything like that. It was more the chain of thoughts that the comment started. I like to be liked. Not only that; I like people to tell other people nice things about me. Like saying I am intelligent, or different or special (but not in the educational way!) or thoughtful, etc. So when I read the comment, I immediately started thinking about explaining myself (and did a little) to try to stop him think less of me.
After a while, I started asking me “why?” The main reason of this blog (or any blog for that matter) is to write your opinions and your comments and your thoughts and if what you say resonates (either harmonically or not) with other people they will let you know. Then, why should I be so concerned about liking (or not) Stephen King? Does it really matters? I think not (but I am not sure… My “emotional needs” are acting up again…)
In any case; I have liked some of the books of Stephen King (The Stand, It and the Dark Tower series specially); then in a sense I like him. Some others (like the short stories in general) I have not liked, I do not know what to make of it.
All the books that I have read and finished I have liked. The ones I did not like I did not finish them (but there are very few). Of course, I always try to find something to like in everything I do; I am not sure this is the sane thing to do (this means I do not want to argue about it, I really think THIS IS the sane thing to do); but it works for me. That sometimes that way of thinking had led me to shovel shit for days, well the showers you take afterwards feel great! So, I am not sorry (even if I want to say it!) to disagree or to have different opinions. I am trying to embrace this difference (it's DIFFICULT!!!), which I think is OK.
See you around.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Read at your own peril...
One of the benefits of having parents that like to read is the number and type of books that were available when I discovered I enjoyed reading.
In that sense, my parents were very open regarding which books I could read. Everything available. There were no hidden books in the house. If it was there, it could be read. At the time, my parents were really fond of Irving Wallace and Taylor Cadwell (I remember reading Wallace with some concerns because of the “sex activity” descripted in those books, now I find it funny).
Then, I moved to Guadalajara with my uncle and aunt (*). My uncle has a HUGE library of Science Fiction. One of his collections was a 40 tome anthology of Science Fiction (Ed. Bruguera by theme; racism, fantasy, humor, fugitives, heroes, etc.). I had the opportunity to read Asimov, Heinlein, Philip K. Dick, Silverberg, Zelazny, Poul Andersen, Gordon R. Dickson, Harlan Ellison, George R. R. Martin, James Tiptree Jr., Ursula K. LeGuin, and many more. I LOVED IT!. My infatuation with Sci-Fi started there.
From it, I developed an interest on fantasy/terror (Fritz Leiber, Edgar Allan Poe, H.P. Lovecraft (**), Robert Bloch, Stephen King, etc.); and then I rediscovered Paco Ignacio Taibo II. I had read “No habra final feliz” (No happy ending); when I was in Jr. High School, somebody lent the book to my dad and I took advantage and read it; I could not stop reading it, and later look for it but did not remember the author, only the character (Hector Belascoaran Shayne); so when in 1987 the FIL (Feria Internacional del Libro; International Book Fair) started in Guadalajara, I started attending. In 1990 Taibo was there to introduce some new books (I think “Cuatro Manos/Four Hands” and "Sueños de Frontera", "Amorosos Fantasmas" and "Desvanecidos Difuntos") and I was there during a conversation when he explained why Belascoaran was an Engineer working in a “maquiladora” before he decided to be a detective (private eye). Getting to know him and starting to buy almost every book he had wrote was the same thing.
From Taibo I got the Mystery/Thriller love going; that got developed when I moved to Tijuana and started buying books in English (I had some from Guadalajara, and I was used to read them in English; but they were really expensive there). I stopped buying books for a while (and stopped attending the FIL from 1996 to 2003) until finally restarted my commitment and started reading Jeffery Deaver, Lee Child, and then (because I bought some books in Spanish that were on sale) Terry Pratchett.
So far I have been enjoying the ride. However these days I have been listing my books I have found more than 100 books I have not read; some of them are in “mint” condition. Shame on me! I will fix this (hopefully), before buying more books.
See you around.
(*) One of the first books that I started to read in Guadalajara was “La clave esta en Rebecca” (Ken Follet); and my uncle told me the book may not be suitable for me (I was 17 at the time) because of the sex written on it. Later on I discovered he had several of Xaviera Hollander’s books. REALLY INTERESTING!!!
(**) My father had this very old book with stories based on H.P. Lovecraft "universe" and one of the stories was called "El Guardallaves"; the book has several missing pages and I never got to finish the story. Even now I do not know the author or the original name of the story; if it rings a bell; please, please help me!!!
P.S. I forgot to mention that during 1991 to 1994 I also bought a lot of books of Erotica; under one collection from Alcor (“La fuente de Jade”). [Maybe I am ashamed of mentioning this].
In that sense, my parents were very open regarding which books I could read. Everything available. There were no hidden books in the house. If it was there, it could be read. At the time, my parents were really fond of Irving Wallace and Taylor Cadwell (I remember reading Wallace with some concerns because of the “sex activity” descripted in those books, now I find it funny).
Then, I moved to Guadalajara with my uncle and aunt (*). My uncle has a HUGE library of Science Fiction. One of his collections was a 40 tome anthology of Science Fiction (Ed. Bruguera by theme; racism, fantasy, humor, fugitives, heroes, etc.). I had the opportunity to read Asimov, Heinlein, Philip K. Dick, Silverberg, Zelazny, Poul Andersen, Gordon R. Dickson, Harlan Ellison, George R. R. Martin, James Tiptree Jr., Ursula K. LeGuin, and many more. I LOVED IT!. My infatuation with Sci-Fi started there.
From it, I developed an interest on fantasy/terror (Fritz Leiber, Edgar Allan Poe, H.P. Lovecraft (**), Robert Bloch, Stephen King, etc.); and then I rediscovered Paco Ignacio Taibo II. I had read “No habra final feliz” (No happy ending); when I was in Jr. High School, somebody lent the book to my dad and I took advantage and read it; I could not stop reading it, and later look for it but did not remember the author, only the character (Hector Belascoaran Shayne); so when in 1987 the FIL (Feria Internacional del Libro; International Book Fair) started in Guadalajara, I started attending. In 1990 Taibo was there to introduce some new books (I think “Cuatro Manos/Four Hands” and "Sueños de Frontera", "Amorosos Fantasmas" and "Desvanecidos Difuntos") and I was there during a conversation when he explained why Belascoaran was an Engineer working in a “maquiladora” before he decided to be a detective (private eye). Getting to know him and starting to buy almost every book he had wrote was the same thing.
From Taibo I got the Mystery/Thriller love going; that got developed when I moved to Tijuana and started buying books in English (I had some from Guadalajara, and I was used to read them in English; but they were really expensive there). I stopped buying books for a while (and stopped attending the FIL from 1996 to 2003) until finally restarted my commitment and started reading Jeffery Deaver, Lee Child, and then (because I bought some books in Spanish that were on sale) Terry Pratchett.
So far I have been enjoying the ride. However these days I have been listing my books I have found more than 100 books I have not read; some of them are in “mint” condition. Shame on me! I will fix this (hopefully), before buying more books.
See you around.
(*) One of the first books that I started to read in Guadalajara was “La clave esta en Rebecca” (Ken Follet); and my uncle told me the book may not be suitable for me (I was 17 at the time) because of the sex written on it. Later on I discovered he had several of Xaviera Hollander’s books. REALLY INTERESTING!!!
(**) My father had this very old book with stories based on H.P. Lovecraft "universe" and one of the stories was called "El Guardallaves"; the book has several missing pages and I never got to finish the story. Even now I do not know the author or the original name of the story; if it rings a bell; please, please help me!!!
P.S. I forgot to mention that during 1991 to 1994 I also bought a lot of books of Erotica; under one collection from Alcor (“La fuente de Jade”). [Maybe I am ashamed of mentioning this].
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Spoiler alert
I just noticed that I am spoiled.
I mean I “knew” I am spoiled, I just never before accepted.
I hate to wait for things to happen. I have no patience for unknown (and sometimes known also) people to do their duties/responsibilities/what-is-required from them.
Of course at the same time I am a procrastinator. My wife is perplexed by this apparent paradox; she feels the duty to ask me the question: “how can you complain about this when you do the same?”
I do not know; the only reason I can offer is that sometimes I do not like people who ask me to do things for them. Even if that is my responsibility/duty/etc.
But, the latest example of that was last Friday. Pinka had an injury in her right ankle. We took her to the hospital. There was only one patient in the Emergency Room. We were to wait for the general doctor (first) and then the orthopedist (second) to take a look at Pinka and give her treatment. Usually this is a 15 minutes wait. Yes, it is a small private hospital where my wife gets preferential treatment since the Insurance company makes sure she is happy with them (she is the HR manager, thus has the power to change companies if she does not like the service). This time there was no doctor, and when the orthopedist arrived (45 minutes later) he said there were too many people in the room and he was nervous with so many people and we needed a different room.
I just hated the comment. I care about the manners of a doctor; but I care more about timeliness. And it got me thinking that we give too much respect to the doctors, and teachers, and authority figures. And maybe we should not (or maybe I just think that because I feel superior to most of them [;^)], I don’t know).
In any case, I can see some doctors that are too arrogant with the people they treat. I stopped hearing a radio show (“The morning show” with Mario Alberto) because he invited a gynecologist who called women that called the show “mujercita” (little woman). I do not know if this was supposed to be a tender name to make them feel comfortable, but I just HATED the term. I hate when people patronize me (or others too; however I sometimes do it. Shame on me!).
So, I understand that part of the problem is we still see doctors, teachers, police (maybe police not), etc. as the elders in the community (magic is involved!! authority is involved!!) but in the other hand; Where is your will, duty and responsibility to yourself when you give others authority over you? The doctor will treat you, and help you get well. The teacher will help you learn. The police/judge/congressman/etc. will help you strive in this society. But, relying only on them; and blaming only them when those activities fail; it will mask your own shortcomings.
I am sensitive to this theme today. The whole Pinka’s accident has got me thinking and reviewing some of my whole conceptions.
That I am almost sure the injuries to Pinka are related to something else makes it not easier. My wife asked her therapist about people who somatize (because we were thinking about Pinka having three “major” medical issues in the last three years) and he mentioned about “Bioenergetic” and “Corenergetic” which are some investigations about how you body reflects your emotions. (He also mentioned that she may be having relationship problems with her father [this means I have to do something about it!]).
Personally, I have always believed that you can heal yourself; however many times you need some external help (doctors here). But if you really believe (and this is really difficult, because we are programmed not to) and take advantage of the help, then you can heal yourself. It happened to me when I was 16; I was sick and they told me it would take a month to be OK again, but I was up and running in 1 week. My aunt later told me that this was because I was afraid of needles and since I was getting a shot daily, I was healed after only one week. Whatever, it worked. I don’t know how to apply this to Pinka; except where I can work in my relationship with her.
I am ranting now; have to stop a little. This will continue.
See you around.
I mean I “knew” I am spoiled, I just never before accepted.
I hate to wait for things to happen. I have no patience for unknown (and sometimes known also) people to do their duties/responsibilities/what-is-required from them.
Of course at the same time I am a procrastinator. My wife is perplexed by this apparent paradox; she feels the duty to ask me the question: “how can you complain about this when you do the same?”
I do not know; the only reason I can offer is that sometimes I do not like people who ask me to do things for them. Even if that is my responsibility/duty/etc.
But, the latest example of that was last Friday. Pinka had an injury in her right ankle. We took her to the hospital. There was only one patient in the Emergency Room. We were to wait for the general doctor (first) and then the orthopedist (second) to take a look at Pinka and give her treatment. Usually this is a 15 minutes wait. Yes, it is a small private hospital where my wife gets preferential treatment since the Insurance company makes sure she is happy with them (she is the HR manager, thus has the power to change companies if she does not like the service). This time there was no doctor, and when the orthopedist arrived (45 minutes later) he said there were too many people in the room and he was nervous with so many people and we needed a different room.
I just hated the comment. I care about the manners of a doctor; but I care more about timeliness. And it got me thinking that we give too much respect to the doctors, and teachers, and authority figures. And maybe we should not (or maybe I just think that because I feel superior to most of them [;^)], I don’t know).
In any case, I can see some doctors that are too arrogant with the people they treat. I stopped hearing a radio show (“The morning show” with Mario Alberto) because he invited a gynecologist who called women that called the show “mujercita” (little woman). I do not know if this was supposed to be a tender name to make them feel comfortable, but I just HATED the term. I hate when people patronize me (or others too; however I sometimes do it. Shame on me!).
So, I understand that part of the problem is we still see doctors, teachers, police (maybe police not), etc. as the elders in the community (magic is involved!! authority is involved!!) but in the other hand; Where is your will, duty and responsibility to yourself when you give others authority over you? The doctor will treat you, and help you get well. The teacher will help you learn. The police/judge/congressman/etc. will help you strive in this society. But, relying only on them; and blaming only them when those activities fail; it will mask your own shortcomings.
I am sensitive to this theme today. The whole Pinka’s accident has got me thinking and reviewing some of my whole conceptions.
That I am almost sure the injuries to Pinka are related to something else makes it not easier. My wife asked her therapist about people who somatize (because we were thinking about Pinka having three “major” medical issues in the last three years) and he mentioned about “Bioenergetic” and “Corenergetic” which are some investigations about how you body reflects your emotions. (He also mentioned that she may be having relationship problems with her father [this means I have to do something about it!]).
Personally, I have always believed that you can heal yourself; however many times you need some external help (doctors here). But if you really believe (and this is really difficult, because we are programmed not to) and take advantage of the help, then you can heal yourself. It happened to me when I was 16; I was sick and they told me it would take a month to be OK again, but I was up and running in 1 week. My aunt later told me that this was because I was afraid of needles and since I was getting a shot daily, I was healed after only one week. Whatever, it worked. I don’t know how to apply this to Pinka; except where I can work in my relationship with her.
I am ranting now; have to stop a little. This will continue.
See you around.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Final
To think I had not seen a “futbol” (soccer) match in several years…
Sunday started with my parents’ phone call; mi sister read about Pinka’s accident and called them to tell them about it. They wanted to check on her and confirm it was not a major injury (it wasn’t) and to talk to her a little bit. My father told me my aunt from Guadalajara (where I lived the first five years I lived there) won one of the cars from a bank promotion; she made the guys really sweat it to give her the price because she did not believe them.
We then took advantage of an early wake up call and took off to the new “Pretty Plaza” mall; we had not been there since they opened the B0rders and wanted to go browsing for a while. Vicky was not here, she went to Rosarito yesterday for... (after Maria's comment confirmed my amnesia) a party with her best friend and stayed there until Sunday'a afternoon.
We got there at 10:00 am, of course everything was closed; we did not remember they open at 11:00 am on Sunday! We got a wheelchair for Pinka with the help of a very nice lady that arrived early for work (Pinka can navigate with the crutches, but it is tiresome for her after a while [and for me soon thereafter!]) and stop at the St@rbucks for some coffee.
After that we shop a little and then headed to B0rders; got hungry in the way and stop for lunch. We got some books for the kids (Black Beauty, Anne from Green Gables, The Complete Jane Austen books) and headed home after that.
Remembered there were almost no groceries at home (we lost the fridge on Thursday, but was returned [repaired] on Saturday… hey!!! Thursday!!) and stop at a small store that sells many “organic” foods. Got seeds, some snacks, fat-free and soy milk and a six pack of “organic” beer (I have to post about beer!).
Arrived home and there is no Vicky; continue adding books to my list (I am at 290!) and then, while surfing the TV I ran into the futbol final (soccer)!
I have a confession to make; I am an America fan. For a while, when I lived in Guadalajara I considered polite to have also a Guadalajara team and since I could not follow neither Chivas (sworn enemy of America!) or Tecos (they are sponsored from a different university than the one I attended) I decided to follow Atlas (which is supposedly the team with the most faithful fans in Guadalajara, if not Mexico). But after I moved to Tijuana, I did not follow “futbol” enough. Most of my friends here are Chivas’ fans (and interested only on Chivas’ matches) and America’s matches (in 1995) were at 10:00 am on Sunday (and after a night in Sr. Fr0g’s, who could wake up that early?). I had not watch “futbol” since then.
So, I did not have a personal interest in the match; except for the courtesy to will and Maria (they are Santos fans) and also my wife’s relatives that lived in Torreon and follow the team; I decided to cheer for Santos. I got into the game really late; only watched the last 15 minutes, but being the final, it was do or die! Santos was ahead 1-0; and just like that Cruz Azul tied the game. The first leg of the home and away match ended with Santos having advantage of 2-1, so if Cruz Azul scored again the match would go to overtime. Of course if Santos scored the match would end almost immediately. Really exciting last 10 minutes; I do not know about the rest of the match, but what I saw was really interesting. I missed the burned hand incident too; I would have to read about it.
Congratulations to Santos!
See you around.
Sunday started with my parents’ phone call; mi sister read about Pinka’s accident and called them to tell them about it. They wanted to check on her and confirm it was not a major injury (it wasn’t) and to talk to her a little bit. My father told me my aunt from Guadalajara (where I lived the first five years I lived there) won one of the cars from a bank promotion; she made the guys really sweat it to give her the price because she did not believe them.
We then took advantage of an early wake up call and took off to the new “Pretty Plaza” mall; we had not been there since they opened the B0rders and wanted to go browsing for a while. Vicky was not here, she went to Rosarito yesterday for... (after Maria's comment confirmed my amnesia) a party with her best friend and stayed there until Sunday'a afternoon.
We got there at 10:00 am, of course everything was closed; we did not remember they open at 11:00 am on Sunday! We got a wheelchair for Pinka with the help of a very nice lady that arrived early for work (Pinka can navigate with the crutches, but it is tiresome for her after a while [and for me soon thereafter!]) and stop at the St@rbucks for some coffee.
After that we shop a little and then headed to B0rders; got hungry in the way and stop for lunch. We got some books for the kids (Black Beauty, Anne from Green Gables, The Complete Jane Austen books) and headed home after that.
Remembered there were almost no groceries at home (we lost the fridge on Thursday, but was returned [repaired] on Saturday… hey!!! Thursday!!) and stop at a small store that sells many “organic” foods. Got seeds, some snacks, fat-free and soy milk and a six pack of “organic” beer (I have to post about beer!).
Arrived home and there is no Vicky; continue adding books to my list (I am at 290!) and then, while surfing the TV I ran into the futbol final (soccer)!
I have a confession to make; I am an America fan. For a while, when I lived in Guadalajara I considered polite to have also a Guadalajara team and since I could not follow neither Chivas (sworn enemy of America!) or Tecos (they are sponsored from a different university than the one I attended) I decided to follow Atlas (which is supposedly the team with the most faithful fans in Guadalajara, if not Mexico). But after I moved to Tijuana, I did not follow “futbol” enough. Most of my friends here are Chivas’ fans (and interested only on Chivas’ matches) and America’s matches (in 1995) were at 10:00 am on Sunday (and after a night in Sr. Fr0g’s, who could wake up that early?). I had not watch “futbol” since then.
So, I did not have a personal interest in the match; except for the courtesy to will and Maria (they are Santos fans) and also my wife’s relatives that lived in Torreon and follow the team; I decided to cheer for Santos. I got into the game really late; only watched the last 15 minutes, but being the final, it was do or die! Santos was ahead 1-0; and just like that Cruz Azul tied the game. The first leg of the home and away match ended with Santos having advantage of 2-1, so if Cruz Azul scored again the match would go to overtime. Of course if Santos scored the match would end almost immediately. Really exciting last 10 minutes; I do not know about the rest of the match, but what I saw was really interesting. I missed the burned hand incident too; I would have to read about it.
Congratulations to Santos!
See you around.
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