Spoiler alert

I just noticed that I am spoiled.

I mean I “knew” I am spoiled, I just never before accepted.

I hate to wait for things to happen. I have no patience for unknown (and sometimes known also) people to do their duties/responsibilities/what-is-required from them.

Of course at the same time I am a procrastinator. My wife is perplexed by this apparent paradox; she feels the duty to ask me the question: “how can you complain about this when you do the same?”

I do not know; the only reason I can offer is that sometimes I do not like people who ask me to do things for them. Even if that is my responsibility/duty/etc.

But, the latest example of that was last Friday. Pinka had an injury in her right ankle. We took her to the hospital. There was only one patient in the Emergency Room. We were to wait for the general doctor (first) and then the orthopedist (second) to take a look at Pinka and give her treatment. Usually this is a 15 minutes wait. Yes, it is a small private hospital where my wife gets preferential treatment since the Insurance company makes sure she is happy with them (she is the HR manager, thus has the power to change companies if she does not like the service). This time there was no doctor, and when the orthopedist arrived (45 minutes later) he said there were too many people in the room and he was nervous with so many people and we needed a different room.

I just hated the comment. I care about the manners of a doctor; but I care more about timeliness. And it got me thinking that we give too much respect to the doctors, and teachers, and authority figures. And maybe we should not (or maybe I just think that because I feel superior to most of them [;^)], I don’t know).

In any case, I can see some doctors that are too arrogant with the people they treat. I stopped hearing a radio show (“The morning show” with Mario Alberto) because he invited a gynecologist who called women that called the show “mujercita” (little woman). I do not know if this was supposed to be a tender name to make them feel comfortable, but I just HATED the term. I hate when people patronize me (or others too; however I sometimes do it. Shame on me!).

So, I understand that part of the problem is we still see doctors, teachers, police (maybe police not), etc. as the elders in the community (magic is involved!! authority is involved!!) but in the other hand; Where is your will, duty and responsibility to yourself when you give others authority over you? The doctor will treat you, and help you get well. The teacher will help you learn. The police/judge/congressman/etc. will help you strive in this society. But, relying only on them; and blaming only them when those activities fail; it will mask your own shortcomings.

I am sensitive to this theme today. The whole Pinka’s accident has got me thinking and reviewing some of my whole conceptions.

That I am almost sure the injuries to Pinka are related to something else makes it not easier. My wife asked her therapist about people who somatize (because we were thinking about Pinka having three “major” medical issues in the last three years) and he mentioned about “Bioenergetic” and “Corenergetic” which are some investigations about how you body reflects your emotions. (He also mentioned that she may be having relationship problems with her father [this means I have to do something about it!]).

Personally, I have always believed that you can heal yourself; however many times you need some external help (doctors here). But if you really believe (and this is really difficult, because we are programmed not to) and take advantage of the help, then you can heal yourself. It happened to me when I was 16; I was sick and they told me it would take a month to be OK again, but I was up and running in 1 week. My aunt later told me that this was because I was afraid of needles and since I was getting a shot daily, I was healed after only one week. Whatever, it worked. I don’t know how to apply this to Pinka; except where I can work in my relationship with her.

I am ranting now; have to stop a little. This will continue.

See you around.