One of my friends in college was suffering after a break-up; I talked to him (I don't really remember what I told him, but remember trying to cheer him up) and just immediately after that he tells me this:
"You can say the most hurtful things at the worst possible time".
I thought I was trying to help.
Then as time passed (and went to therapy for a couple of years), I noticed that I can turn on my unconscious mind (or let it take over) and allow it to take care of things.
I had done that occasionally, especially when driving; half the time I do not remember how I got from one place to another, the driver-inside took me there. But I really started tapping into that in therapy, when I would be asked to answer questions without thinking too much. And of course try to explain later why I said that.
So, this morning, after a really harsh/quick retort to my wife (I made her cry, I feel bad about myself now) I am trying to find out if what I said was really what she heard.
I do not think so, but in some way this is maybe justification on my side. If she was trying to provoke me into a fight or just pulling my leg (as a joke) I do not know. But, I felt insulted by one of her comments and I answer back.
I made her cry. Now I am suffering too.
Can I take that back?
Six
1 week ago
2 comments:
hopefully.
i was with someone who had very harsh rules about that...it wasn't possible to "take something back." it made for interesting, censoring arguments...something that in the end was detrimental, as i'm quite emotional and need to release steam. i am not saying i am a knee-jerk reactionary, but people say things that should be allowed to be taken back or refuted in time by the offender. too harsh to impose such an unforgiving, black and white rule, don't you think?
Yes indeed,
When I am upset, I will say almost anything. Including lies.
If I want to repent (which in my case, means I have learned my lesson)why wouldn't we allow that?
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